waiting...

Well, we are waiting. And strange like when we wait, the time goes by slowly.  I have a full time job, a house to take care of, 3 dogs, but the children are missing. They are missing for a long, long time.
Since I got cancer at age 28, I knew I could not have children. Chemo put me in menopause,  12 surgeries and radiotherapy made sure of it. I needed to survive first. Then I needed to understand that I could not carry a child, ever. The fact that I had a complete hysterectomy sealed the deal.
People tell you, so what, adopt... But adoption is not something you just do. You need to be ready. You need to be ready to adopt a child that someone else made. That will not look like you, that you will not carry. A child that will be there already for a couple of years and you missed all that. You need to be open, you need to think about it, and you need your husband to be ready too.
It took 10 years.
And we are ready, more than ready. We are waiting for that child. Or 2 ? I don't know. And I don't like, not knowing, so it is very challenging for me to just stay there and wait, not knowing what will happen.
But one thing for sure, we will go and we will do everything possible to come back with our children.